Monday, June 4, 2012

Upside Down World

Wow.  It's been six months since my last post.  Feels like a lifetime or two ago.  

On February 2, 2012, I became a single mom.  I don't really want to go into details now.  I may or may not at some future point.  But suffice it to say what happened was beyond my control.  In a way beyond his control too.  Being a single mom is not a choice I made, but a path I was forced to take.  I'd like to say I made a quiet, firm stand and chose a better life for myself and my son, but in reality, a bomb hit my world and I'm still digging my way out of the dust and rubble.  I'm trying to find the surface and the sun again.  Sometimes I get little glimmers through the dark, but as yet, I haven't found it.

After a lot of thought and prayer Hunter and I are headed back to Wisconsin at the beginning of July.  I'm really happy to be headed back to apple trees and autumn leaves and freshwater streams, to family and the smell of home.  I'm really scared too, as I'll be leaving my nanny job that I love and the life I've built here in Florida for new unknowns.

Goals, present and future?  Find another nanny job in Wisconsin, find affordable living and get settled with my munchkin.  After that, school, specifically nursing school.  

Everything in this new life is strange.  I feel like an avatar on Pandora.  New body, new world.  Nothing's the same.  The colors are different, sharp and stark.  The sounds are unfamiliar and startling.  

Only one thing's the same, and that's the mommylove I have for my little guy, my Mr. McScooty.  We had a newsflash of national importance last week, containing four crucial words:  WE HAVE FORWARD MOTION!  Somebody's mobile and crawling all over the place.  He isn't strong enough for hands and knees yet, so he scrabbles and kicks and flaps his arms forward, exactly like a baby sea turtle flopping across the sand toward the waves. When I come in the room, he clambers over to me and then throws himself across my feet, patting my legs like a puppy begging to be picked up.  It's heartmelting.

There's a lot more to say, but little time before midnight, and after three nights of Hunter wanting to wake up and play at 3AM, I need some pillow time.  I'll be back.  With any luck, sooner than six months later.  ;)

In the meantime, check out this cuteness.  Yes, I do have the most adorable baby in the world.


  1. A Nina post, hooray!

    You are one of the bravest people I know, you know that? Praying for you and Hunter. I hope the move and jobhunting go well.

    And that boy of yours is fiiiiine. Haha I love his snarky, unimpressed expression there.

  2. *hugs Nina* I'm praying for you! And it's really good that Hunter can move around like that. In the last picture, I think he's saying, "What in the world are you doin', Mom?" Hopefully you'll get a good job that you like!

  3. Praying for you! My mom (who happens to be a nurse...) went through very nearly the same thing, so I know what you are feeling right now as much as I can without it happening to me. Please just remember that you CAN do this by the grace of God. You have a good plan - I'll be praying that it all comes together smoothly. God bless you!

    Hunter is completely adorable, for sure. *sends hugs to you both*

  4. Hunter is absolutely CUTE, Nina! Precious! Precious! I would like to scoop him up into my arms and cuddle him! He sound heartmelting indeed! :)

    I would blather on about how God is with you, He loves you, but I know you already know that. I'm here, too. And I love you, too. You are courageous and kind. God was good when He gave Hunter a mom like you!

    Love, Kayla

  5. Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers. It means more than I can say.